i am NOT emotionally bankrupt. trust me. the lion king made me cry.
yet watching the news, then seeing the MJ related status updates flooding my home page made me feel...nothing..??
i am not a callous bitch. let me justify. 1. i didn't know the guy personally (duh). 2. his kids can walk around maskless now. 3. i have mourned his musical death since 1995 anyway. 4. Gavin Arvizo, Jason Francia, Jordan Chandler.

although point number 4, i have a feeling, will be glossed over in the wake of his death in the same manner Suharto's corruption was glossed over when he died. death makes the heart grow fonder, no?

on another note, Leonard Peltier has been granted his first parole in 15 years, the U.S. will be supplying the Somalian government with weapons and training, the International Whaling Commission fails to curb the continuing killing of some 1,000 whales per year - despite the fact that scientist have discovered them to possess qualities of personhood, and NASA's LCROSS will be live-streaming a fly by to determine weather water ice exists on the surface of the moon, (cool).

Rest in peace MJ.

i splashed the salty water of pacific ocean with my feet. looking down to the whitest sand and coldest wave, ahhh i'm a resident of the paradise. so i sat one step back to the shore, back arched to the sun, left leg moving through the water, pulling waves. then i looked around, a coconut tree rises into the sky, an awkward skinny teenager embarrassed of his height, and then there they are. two elders sat on their straw beach mats before the horizon. she was obviously telling him a story, her weak tiny hand moves up and down, sometimes wanders a little to the side, as if she was ready to fly. then i looked at him, the person she was explaining a wonderful thing to. he stares at her just as she was 40 years younger, his eyes were set on her face full of wrinkle and his eyes softened. he could not careless the sun almost retire that day, he could not careless the cold water touches his tip of toes.

he sees her.

i smiled, raised my camera and captured the moment.

Who created xoxo = hugs & kisses?
I don't want hugs & kisses.
I'd prefer licks & sniffs.
thank you.

tho I'd reckon no one reads this blog. Why?
coz you have no idea how to navigate this site, correct?

lol

Will update soon, and luckily for you, with new templates .

Stay tuned!

....yeah i think it's over.


and i finally found out that my life goes on without you...


and my world still turns when you're not around...

yes and no?


meh...like it matters

How'd you feel when you find out the darkest side of your family?
How'd you feel when you realize you ain't as good as you think you were?
How'd you feel when you have been crying all day and still can't sleep without tears crawlin' down to your chin?
How'd you feel when suddenly your hero seems to have sins, just like you do?
How'd you feel when you are lost in your future and can't see no way out?
How'd you feel when you think you have no future at all?
How'd you feel if you coulda made a one, but it's too late?
How'd you feel if you never give up and the world gives up on you?
How'd you feel walking towards your fear with no way back?
How'd you feel, putting urself in my shoes right now?


SUCKS

if only i can ask God to make life goes slow and easy on me at least for now, cause it hurts really bad

So check this, spent this summer break on simply: 1 week at work, 5 days in Bali and countless hours in vain. Quite a break I may call, starts with the story of Aaron who missed his plane from Korea, left me with Sidney whom I was barely known. I don't remember getting to know a new person could be so nerve-wracking but I pulled it thru pretty well I s'pose. Aaron had to stay overnight at the airport and we gotta pick him up in the next day, Sidney suggested me to write "Tom Hanks, The Terminal" on a piece of paper for Aaron, I was like 'y not?'

Bali..hmm, Bali is Bali. What can I say about Bali? We went to cool places, white shoreline beaches, Antonio Blanco gallery (Erlyn mistaken by asking "isn't he the shoe-god of Carrie Bradshaw?" lol), watersporting.. yo, funny thing happened when I played this flyfish with Steven, well days before I was into this conversation with Aaron abt how Steve Irwin got killed by a stingray, he kinda wished he wouldn't see any stingray in Bali, heh and u know what, turns out that the boat which was taking us around is named "stingray". Tough luck, man.

We hit Musro that night without Sidney coz he got tired from his two times parasailing, the cabaret wasn't that good but the music was, I gotta taste a blow job (a drink, verbatim) and Aaron's corona beer.. pretty sure didn't make myself drunk that night except the fact that I woke up around 10 on the next day. No major hangover so guessed I wasn't really.

Sidney paid-off his absence by coming along with us to HardRock on the next night, still, he only sat and drank, well.. 4 drinks and he made friends with the bartender and yet he said "nah, not drunk at all". We had fun watching the OZ band which sucked big time, Aaron seemed to have the best time of all but nobody beats Sidney on drinks. No blow job tonight, instead I hit a cosmopolitan without the olive. Bunpo got a very interesting liquor but took 5 mins for him to figure out the way drinking it (it has flames on the surface).

I was sad going away from the paradise since I never wanna leave. Aaron also said that now he misses living in Hawaii and shdnt hv taken things for granted back then. Sidney promised me to come back when normally he never does to the same place. Well fellas, all tributes taken.

Yesterday I flipped thru old family albums and found out so many interesting pics I've probably never noticed before:

1. I own 5 more albums than other kids.

2. My mom looked like me in her early age, my aunt when she graduated college, and Yoko Ono when she got married.

3. My dad looked like a rock star. envy those afro-hair.

4. Both my parents spent too much time dressing their kids, we had more clothes than we could ever imagine.

5. I looked like an ass. in every single picture.

6. Mom had better style than me, she wore Janis Joplin shades in highschool.

7. Brother had mushroom hair most of the times and my sister looked so boyish.

8. Three of us loved eachother better than today.

9. 1990's is a messed up era but nobody wants to leave.

10. I MISS MY CHILDHOOD

I wonder if it's possible for me to sue Youtube for fucking up my brain and making me go blind.

I think need to go to Youtube anonymously.

My blood's still rushing down from head to toe as i just finished my chacha dance practice a while ago. it's funny coz the whole office were dancing in one room, from the general manager to intern *like me* were swinging towards eachother like an ocean of moving bodies. i dunno abt the deal since i just joined the company not so long ago, i guessed they've been practicing for the upcoming international convention in Bali. sounds like fun to me.

As i was watching people dancing, i realize how important the comfortability when you dance in partners, oh well since it is Latin Dance, you HAVE to dance in partners. I was surprisingly nervous when i gotta start learning the step, *note: i hate learning steps to dance, i dance to the rhythm of my feet* I started to step on my partner's feet and missing the counts whenever i have to look into his eyes. Eyes have been my weak points on people so i wasn't suprised.

By the time i felt comfortable they always stole my partner. Aarrgghhh...dammit, but finally I did ok with Ian who, apart from twiching me around too fast and chatting during the dance *made me lose concentration but i guessed that's his comforting remedy*, could lead me on the floor successfully. that's the thing for you fellas out there, lead the ladies !!!

The instructor said I did great job coz I could catch up with the others all the routine they've been practicing for 2 months. And I did it within an hour.

No wonder I sprain my ankle.