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lost in space
How'd you feel when you find out the darkest side of your family?
How'd you feel when you realize you ain't as good as you think you were?
How'd you feel when you have been crying all day and still can't sleep without tears crawlin' down to your chin?
How'd you feel when suddenly your hero seems to have sins, just like you do?
How'd you feel when you are lost in your future and can't see no way out?
How'd you feel when you think you have no future at all?
How'd you feel if you coulda made a one, but it's too late?
How'd you feel if you never give up and the world gives up on you?
How'd you feel walking towards your fear with no way back?
How'd you feel, putting urself in my shoes right now?


if only i can ask God to make life goes slow and easy on me at least for now, cause it hurts really bad
So check this, spent this summer break on simply: 1 week at work, 5 days in Bali and countless hours in vain. Quite a break I may call, starts with the story of Aaron who missed his plane from Korea, left me with Sidney who I barely knew. I don't remember getting to know a new person could be so nerve-wracking but I pulled it thru pretty well I s'pose. Aaron had to stay overnight at the airport and we gotta pick him up in the next day, Sidney suggested me to write "Tom Hanks, The Terminal" on a piece of paper for Aaron, I was like 'y not?'

Bali..hmm, Bali is Bali. What can I say about Bali? We went to cool places, white shoreline beaches, Antonio Blanco gallery (Erlyn mistaken by asking "isn't he the shoe-god of Carrie Bradshaw?" lol), watersporting.. yo, funny thing happened when I played this flyfish with Steven, well days before I was into this conversation with Aaron abt how Steve Irwin got killed by a stingray, he kinda wished he wouldn't see any stingray in Bali, heh and u know what, turns out that the boat which was taking us around is named "stingray". Tough luck, man.

We hit Musro that night without Sidney coz he got tired from his two times parasailing, the cabaret wasn't that good but the music was, I gotta taste a blow job (a drink, verbatim) and Aaron's Corona.. pretty sure didn't make myself drunk that night except the fact that I woke up around 10 on the next day. No major hangover so guessed I wasn't really.

Sidney paid-off his absence by coming along with us to Hard Rock on the next night, still, he only sat and drank, well.. 4 drinks and he made friends with the bartender and yet he said "nah, not drunk at all". We had fun watching the OZ band which sucked big time, Aaron seemed to have the best time of all but nobody beats Sidney on drinks. No blow job (ha!) tonight, instead I hit a cosmopolitan without the olive. Bunpo got a very interesting liquor but took 5 mins for him to figure out the way drinking it (it has flames on the surface).

I was sad going away from the paradise since, well, I don't never wanna leave. Aaron dude also said that now he misses living in Hawaii and shdn't have taken things for granted back then. Sidney promised me to come back when normally he never does to the same place. Well fellas, all tributes taken.
my parents were rockstars
Yesterday I flipped thru old family albums and found out so many interesting pics I've probably never noticed before:

1. I own 5 more albums than other kids.

2. My mom looked like me in her early age, my aunt when she graduated college, and Yoko Ono when she got married.

3. My dad looked like a rock star. envy those afro-hair.

4. Both my parents spent too much time dressing their kids, we had more clothes than we could ever imagine.

5. I looked like an ass. in every single picture.

6. Mom had better style than me, she wore Janis Joplin shades in highschool.

7. Brother had mushroom hair most of the times and my sister looked so boyish.

8. Three of us loved eachother better than today.

9. 1990's is a messed up era but nobody wants to leave.



About Me

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i know people who know cool people. proud Indonesian. right-handed. quintessential pisces. the original. starting afresh. unintentionally intense. deeper than the mariana trench. smart. kind. lonely. negative. loaded. space cowboy. sweet. mildly disillusioned. first child. too sensitive for her own good. short & curvy. never cruel. kinky. flippant. loud. singing into hairbrush. dirty dirty dirty words. silly. affectionate. self conscious. occasionally elitist. lost?


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