My Picture

found it 'down' there

More about me»

The Undone Platform
Chapter One
Omaigod. How charming. He came to my room last night.
There’s the shiver from head to toe when I feel your arms around me.
I hardly know you, but your aura comforts me.
You smile in the dark and I had all these raging flips in my tummy.
Like, I really need to pee.
Excitement is delish. Nanzy was in lust. And quite possibly falling in
L.O.V.E.
Moonbeam smuggle through the drawn curtain, illuminating his still face.
I want to reach him. But I let him do the work, catch me off guard and skim his lips over me. Sway, sway, the back of my neck and it shoots, this electrical energy, zooms all the way thru mid-section down to my spine.
Clock stops ticking, all the air was sucked into my ears til it hurts so I close my eyes.
It’s so peaceful. Yeah. That delish fluttery butterfly feeling in my stomach, that bliss, the whole real deal. No, I won’t overanalyze.
I’m just the schmuck tripping over my words that come out all wrong when you’re around. Blessed beautiful boy,
may I have a taste?

Where do I end and you begin?
Our limbs, hearts, our loves are intertwined.
I can clearly hear you, breathing deeply in my ear, deeper inside me.
And then I get to my feet, holding you. And we shatter.
That’s okay, my dear, we shatter.
A thousands piece of you and I on my bedroom floor, oops, where am I, that’s you, that’s your piece, this is me, this is definitely my piece.
We’re in such an artistic mess! But that’s ok my dear. You’ll be lost in me and I’ll be lost in you. Lost altogether.

Chapter Nine
He’s knocking on my door but I’m fine, remain sitting here in my tiny box I call room with my pictures, memories, and postcards.
Fortunately I’ve got my feet to stand on the ground
and my hands to remind me who I am, to see my history.
Doubts start killing my idealism. What should I do?
If only we could all just dance endlessly and remain nameless in a disco of moving bodies and feel the beat pounding through our teeth and nails, not have to speak with words but with signs;
a smile, I look down, your mouth is open wordless.
Sometimes I don’t even understand what I’m saying until I’ve said it and it’s out there, I can’t take it back. The words just dangling in the air, waiting to be forgotten.
I’m sorry for the times I hurt you purposely, I hurt myself with a bigger knife just so you know. I wanted to see you cry, to make you feel. To challenge you.
But we don’t speak the same language. I don’t belong to your cosmic no more.

Chapter Seventeen
From the distance, I see with clearer eyes. Like, I’m a bug, I can fly and get a clearer view.
The colors are brighter, they almost pierce me.
Sounds are clearer, I hear all the different layers and levels of music.
I block out the snare and keyboards and focus on the bass. One level.
Then I block out the bass and vocals and focus on the drums. Another level.
And so on and so forth. Why am I here and you are there?
Look, there’s a shining star coming out. Where are you when I need you?
I want to show you that star, it doesn’t appear twice.

I wish I was invisible, so I can sneak into your freedom, checking how you are.
I wish I could read minds so I don’t need to ask you why, and why me.
You are so beautiful, from your laughter to your misery.
If I could just be here to wrap me up in you. It’s the safest place to be, enveloped in your arms. Shadows play around and I’m wearing time like I can just give it off, keep it inside a little box under my bed, crumbled.

I want to loathe you, for giving my doubts the satisfaction they foresaw.
I want to loathe you, for taking me in your journey to the cloud number nine then left me unannounced, taking my left wings down with you. And so I fall.
I want to loathe you for making my soul numb, boy, I want to loathe you,
for all the reasons in the world.

Daddy says okay to hate, as far as you don’t know.
So I won’t tell you, my dear, let this little girl think with her little heart and decide.
This very second, I forgive you.
Because one day, like a socialist utopia, I wish we could find our universe where we belong altogether, in no time.
So I don’t have to watch you from the distance.
It’s too exhausting.
1 comments:
pikey

you word your stories in such a way...that its more like looking at a peice of freshly painted canvas...how refreshing! so descriptive i can actually see what's going on

Followers

About Me

My photo
i know people who know cool people. proud Indonesian. right-handed. quintessential pisces. the original. starting afresh. unintentionally intense. deeper than the mariana trench. smart. kind. lonely. negative. loaded. space cowboy. sweet. mildly disillusioned. first child. too sensitive for her own good. short & curvy. never cruel. kinky. flippant. loud. singing into hairbrush. dirty dirty dirty words. silly. affectionate. self conscious. occasionally elitist. lost?

Quickie

Search Deafening Silence